counting

so today i had the urge to count all the freckles on my face. i was too tired to do this but i really wanted to. and then i thought about what if i counted things about me. like how many freckles i have, or how many hairs are in my eye brows or things like that. how many cds i have etc. etc. i could use that for my book. i'm still looking for something to make this final publication about. i really like the sea so i thought about doing that as well. who knows. i'm sure i'll think of something. tonight i batiked a t-shirt and it was exciting. i'm excited. hopefully it will turn out a little. even a little and i would be satisfied. i have the wanting need to move again, i dont know where but i really want to move. it might be a sign, but i also want to do a lot of things now, like make sculptures and stuff. i want to this summer. i'm going to i just decided. but who knows i may have to come back for an extra semester because my freakin class i was supposed to take this summer, well they don't offer it this summer. bastards! i just want to graduate. it's all i ask for, so i can figure out what the hell to do with my life. i've been hanging out by myself a lot lately and i like it. sometimes people just need a break from others. but this doesn't come easily because i guess when i do things out of the ordinary people think i'm angry or upset. and i just want to say "why can't i just be who i am" sometimes i don't have anything to say or sometimes i want to just do my own thing, is that so hard to handle? i just don't understand sometimes. if i was angry at someone i think they would know. i don't like others prying into my life sometimes, just let me be. i want to do my own thing. this is why i feel like iw ould be okay moving away because i can be great by myself or with others, i can handle either situation. i'm glad because there will come a time in my life where i have to be all on my own and i want to be able to handle it. off to sleep now.