kind of disappointed

so i'm in a somber mood, i think it my allergies, or cold, or whatever is going on with my body. so the ranting is done. and what provoked that ranting actually turned out different, we are still on two separate levels though. i wish i knew all the answers but i don't and never will. but the reason for this post is dissappointment. not with me but with a family member, or two. my aunt and uncle were in a car accident they cause, while under the influence of alcohol. my aunt was the only one who was hurt mostly because she wasn't wearing her seat belt, but i think all she had is a broken nose. i'm just glad they are okay, but i'm not happy with their behavior. someone, including themselves, could have been hurt. i just don't understand, i guess i thought they had more common sense than me, but i would never do that. i can see kids who don't know their limit and drink too much and think they aren't as intoxicated as they are, but two adults, who are around 40? plus they have an 11 year old daughter, my only female cousin on that side. i can't imagine what she is thinking, or how this is changiner how she sees life. i hope this will help them realize they need to be more responsible. i mean i know my aunt is the "fun aunt" but it's not fun when damage is being done to people and property. so yes i am dissappointed in my family members right now.

also i was visted by a mouse tonight, so i set up humane mouse traps in our apartment. i didn't realize how much something so small can effect me, a lot. i was freaking out, not because i saw the mouse but because it is here. who knows where it has been, has it been in our food? our dishes? our beds? it freaks me out a lot. plus i don't know what sort of germs it has, and i'm not a huge germ freak but having a rodent that might be carrying some sort of gross virus or something just running around our apartment free reign is frightening for me. this is also why i don't like camping, because it's like asking for creatures to come and visit you when you are out in the wild. i don't mind creatures, just when i see them first and approach them, also when it's light out. while i was buying mouse traps i saw snake traps and saw that my problem might be scary, but finding a snake in your house would probably be the most terrifying thing to have happen. that is my only fear of living in the southwest united states. i also thought of some things i fear and forgot about wasps and bees, that is the only thing i dislike about summer. you will never hear me disown summer again except when i see bees and wasps, i just don't like them, and i panic if i'm around them. that's why i have a print from printmaking 1 with a grasshopper and a bee combined (i don't like grasshoppers either) i discovered i use what i am afraid of in my art work. i use insects, and sea life. large bodies of water scare me, it would take a lot to get me scubba diving, i would feel trapped and it would not be pretty. i would like to conquer this fear because things in the sea are beautiful and to see them in real life and not just on tv or photos would be breath taking. it's like a completely different world in the water, some day i will experience it, today is not that day, nor tomorrow.